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I've been so excited for the last few days since we found out about this Mask Bloc folk-punk gig that we could go to.

A gig where D and I weren't the only two wearing masks!

I had a great time, particularly liked two of the acts, Albatross and Octavia Holyoke. When D's girlfriend asked us if Cheap Dirty Horse were playing, this was my introduction to that particular musical group, but then after Albatross's set when we were all outside drinking and/or smoking, they made an offhand reference to playing the washboard for Cheap Dirty Horse so we saw I guess one-seventh of them after all!

Albatross played a sweet song called something like "Song I Will Never Sing for My Mother" about being trans, they (don't know their pronouns, so this is the Unspecified they) introduced it by saying it includes their deadname but they don't think of it as a deadname, so it was nice to get some representation for my own experience there. The song also referred to their testosterone gel as smelling like gin, which made me a little sad because I think it smells like hand sanitizer (which is why mine is known as planned manitizer); I'm used to a better class of gin I guess!

The pub's gammons were clearly a little unimpressed with those of us in the side room for the gig. When D and I went to the bar to get a last pint, still wearing our masks of course, an older white guy next to D challenged him about why he wore a mask. D mildly offered that it was because of the ongoing covid pandemic, and the guy got weird, saying stuff like "they won't work" and trying to tell D he'd developed one of the vaccines but also people's immune systems were good enough. We just ignored him and went outside, but very sweetly the lady who'd been serving us at the bar (who was wearing a mask when she did! all the bar staff did when I saw them) actually came out to apologize for this and assure us that that guy doesn't normally come there, she'd never seen him before. It was really above and beyond, I wouldn't have expected any response from her at all, we also had never been there before, so I was touched by the support.

It was a great nice, after a great day of helping plant trees and fruit plants for a "forest garden" near us, having a cider in the sunshine, taking a nap, we even got to cycle to this gig.

jesse_the_k

I’ve been wearing glasses for 65 years, and I’ve tried many shapes, styles, and colors. Inside the cut are two pics, with a wrinkled white woman with short hair, crumpled ears, crooked smile, and magnifying lens in metal glasses. I'd appreciate it if you'd answer this anonymous poll to let me know which style you think works best:

( Looking and polling )

cosmolinguist

The only thing I am going to say about the draft EHRC guidance that has been laid before Parliament today is what I got in the email from Not A Phase this evening.

FUEL JOY. FUND RESISTANCE.

A final draft of the EHRC’s Code of Practice has been laid before Parliament by the Women & Equalities Minister. While the update is undeniably regressive for the UK’s trans+ community, please keep in mind:

* The Code is important, but it does not change the law.

* There is no criminal law prohibiting trans+ people from gendered spaces such as bathrooms.

* There are no laws allowing harassment in bathrooms.

* Gender reassignment is still considered to be a protected characteristic, meaning trans+ people are legally protected from harm in all settings.

* Venues are not obligated to become gender police, nor are they legally required to have gendered spaces (such as gendered bathrooms). Going fully gender neutral is an option.

Then a link to their full statement, and to donate, and I know a good marketing campaign when I see it but it really is true that these donations fund joy. What I call transgym here all the time is in fact a Not A Phase program, so from this I get all the mental and physical benefits of exercise, community, confidence to work out safely on my own without hurting myself or perishing from social anxiety, and a better relationship to my body. It's no exaggeration to say it's one of the few things that's made the biggest positive difference to my life in the last few years.

rmc28

In January, I passed my 25-year anniversary of working at the University and was sent a nice email from my head of department. I've just been invited to a "celebration event" with the Vice Chancellor and a bunch of other colleagues also reaching the 25-year milestone. Regrettably it is right in the middle of my next hockey camp in Hull, which I booked a couple of months ago, and which I am much more interested in attending.

I have dutifully filled in the RSVP form to say I won't be there, and answered some optional questions about my time at the University (presumably for use in promotion of the recognition event).

Back in 2001 I was only going to stay a few years ...

cosmolinguist

The good news is that today has been less uncomfortable in the ineffable way that yesterday was.

( The bad news is that today I've just been depressed. )

brainwane

I'm speaking, performing, moderating, and otherwise participating at WisCon 48 (WisCon 2026) this weekend! It's entirely online (Discord + Zoom with some YouTube livestreams). My schedule:

Panel: The Last Year in Gender-Exploring SpecFic
Saturday, May 23rd, 10:30 AM–11:45 AM CDT
Members of the 2025 Otherwise jury and others familiar with the award will discuss the 2025 Otherwise Winner, Luminous by Silvia Park, as well as the Honor List titles and other works of gender-exploring speculative fiction from the last year. The panel will also discuss trends that they have seen in speculative fiction in in relation to the exploration and expansion of gender and how that exploration intersects, as it must, with other identity categories.
Cheryl S. Ntumy and Rebecca Fraimow, Mod: Sumana Harihareswara

GoH Panel: Climate Change & Climate Fiction
Sat. May 23rd, 1:00 PM–2:15 PM CDT
Climate change presents humanity with so many different potential challenges, it's no surprise that fictional imaginings of its effects are already so copious. Both our Guests of Honor, Premee Mohamed and Darcie Little Badger, have used their own scientific backgrounds to highlight climate change in their stories. In this panel they'll discuss their perspectives on climate change as scientists and as writers.
Darcie Little Badger and Premee Mohamed, Mod: Sumana Harihareswara

Otherwise's Fundraising Auction
Saturday, May 23rd, 7:00 PM–8:00 PM CDT
The return of the Otherwise Auction! Sumana Harihareswara is your live auctioneer. Bid (via Discord chat; pay using credit/debit card, Venmo, or PayPal) on a variety of material and immaterial items to support the Otherwise Award.

Some of the auction items:

A signed, numbered, hardcover limited edition of N.K. Jemisin’s book How Long ’til Black Future Month -- donated by Subterranean Press
Vintage collectibles, such as a WisCon 42 tote bag (from 2018, donated by SamHain Press)
Discounts at online booksellers
Wacky experiences! (I promise that there will be at least one wacky experience.)

I'll make nerdy jokes. You can come and have fun without bidding on anything. Anyone who donates any amount of money to Otherwise during the auction gets a virtual gift bag with some fun items in it, including the brand-new Otherwise ringtone, made specially for this event. ~~I know we'll take PayPal and credit cards; we may also be taking Venmo.~~ We'll take PayPal, Venmo, and debit/credit cards.

Guest of Honor Speeches & Otherwise Presentation
Sunday, May 24th, 7:00 PM–9:00 PM CDT
WisCon's traditional Sunday night event. Speeches by our guests of honor, followed by presentation of the Otherwise Award (and a filk to celebrate it!) and a speech from the con chairs.

Tickets for WisCon are sliding scale, USD$0-$5-$25-$65. And you'll also get the chance to enjoy fascinating (and well-moderated!) panels, readings of new work, a curated fanvid show, and other sessions, many of which will include CART (real time captioning by a human). More info at the helpful "How To WisCon" post.

cosmolinguist

I took today off work (no plans, just need to use up some holiday and have a break from work) and I was looking forward to sleeping in.

But I woke up at 9am from a bunch of annoying stressful dreams about transport (started out as my usual "I'm relying on my parents to get me to an airport on time" anxiety dream, but then I was walking down the street with a friend but she just rented an e-scooter and zoomed off, and I can't ride those so I had to figure out where I was going on my own, then I traveled to some work event that I only realized is not for me so I had to try to sneak away, then a friend wanted to go to this craft store, I tagged along in her car, but then she disappeared so just before I woke up I was wondering can I even get a train back from Criccieth?) and I felt like I'm actually better off being awake, where I don't have to go anywhere or deal with any of that bullshit.

(I told D about this and he said I can get a train from Criccieth to Manchester but it takes five hours and three trains. I was very glad to wake up in my own bed and not five hours/three trains away.)

I dozed a bit and didn't get out of bed all morning. I've been tired all day but not sleepy.

The weather is gross: warm and overcast. It feels...not humid to this midwesterner, but close. Both short sleeves and long sleeves leave me at slightly the wrong temperature. I was in a grumpy mood too: mad at cars on our short walk to pick up my meds. My skin was weirdly itchy.

I have Friday off work too, same reason, but D has taken it off as well which opens the possibilities of us doing something nice together. But also the need to think of something.

I feel a little bad for not making more of my day but also I felt so incapable of doing anything today that it just shows I need a break. I know it's okay to do nothing. I just wish I had more fun with it.

cosmolinguist

D has been doing sterling work with getting our household on solar energy: not just getting four or five quotes and comparing them carefully (of course they're all slightly different), but researching the minutiae and also explaining things in a very accessible way to me, who it turns out doesn't know much about how electricity works.

This afternoon we had a final video call with the guy from our chosen provider, which was very pleasant -- the guy was friendly, it's always fun to see D as happy as the prospect of getting most of our energy from the sun makes him -- and after that we officially went forward with that proposal.

I thought I'd written about six months ago -- though actually I'm not surprised that I didn't -- that after my grandma died and my grandparents' house had been sold, my parents got a third of that money and they put a chunk of it in my bank account (despite my protestations that they keep it all; Mom said she knew I'd say that and it was no use arguing, so I didn't argue). Mom wanted me to put it toward something for the house, something big and good, rather than have it just trickle away on bills and stuff.

I was at a loss what to do about it at the time, but of course here's something wonderful. The cost of our solar energy installation is about half on the battery and half on the solar panels, and the money I think of as my grandma's will cover one of those halves.

Mom happened to ask a couple weeks ago if I'd thought of anything to do with it, so I told her about the solar panels, and she seemed pretty happy with that. (My dad was if anything a little jealous; of course the funding for such things has been stripped away from the U.S. (though Minnesota seems to be trying to do what it can so hopefully that'll change soon.)

(Of course, being my mom, she asked exactly the same question again yesterday, because she does not actually take in the information I tell her or that she has specifically requested, and when I answered it again, this time she was like "oh, yeah, whatever, it doesn't matter what it is, as long as you've spent it on something..." The first time was much more fun!)

redbird

*After a mild spring, it suddenly got hot today. Fortunately, we had enough warning that adrian_turtle was able to contact our usual handyman and have him put the air conditioners back in the window, which he did a couple of hours ago. I am staying inside today, because 97F/36C ("feels like" 39/102) is too damned hot for me; I'm glad the handyman was willing to come when he did, rather than early in the day.

*I have been going back and forth with my health insurance company and various people at my psychiatrist's office and the Beth Israel Lahey billing department over a claim that the insurance told me they were denying. The denial letter, with instructions about how to appeal, was dated April 26 and arrived on the 28th, but they haven't sent that to my doctor's office/billing. Meanwhile, billing first told me I don't have an outstanding bill, and then today could find it but said they couldn't do anything as long as it's "pending insurance." Someone at the insurance company suggested I ask the doctor to resubmit with a different code, which seems to have them puzzled. (It was sent in as "doctor's visit, long.") Someone at the insurance company advised me to have the doctor resubmit this with a different code, but when I gave up on billing and sent my doctor a message, she said she didn't know what I want her to do and was forwarding the message to the admin people.

Trying to figure out this insurance mess is why I was on the MyChart website Sunday, and thus led to me getting an overdue mammogram yesterday.

*I mail-ordered a bunch of spices from Penzey's. I'd wanted to get this done sooner so we could take advantage of last weekend's sale, but cattitude reasonably wanted time to look through the spice cabinet. So I assembled an order yesterday, and saw that the most recent politically-themed sale would get me discounts on more things I actually wanted: peppercorns and mustard, rather than their "lemon pepper" seasoning.

Last weekend's sale was loosely immigration themed. The current one is anything starting with I, M, or P, with a promise of a discount on E, A, C, and H in a couple of days to spell out IMPEACH (which is also the current discount code). In any case, we need the pepper and mustard, as well as a variety of things that don't start with those letters, like roast garlic powder and cracked rosemary, which added up to enough for free shipping.

julian

This is my last two weeks, basically, though there's also work involved around the edges.

The thing is, my mom had been trundling along as kind-of there in the mornings and pretty much not in the afternoon, but still wanting to take walks (And get lost and stand in the middle of the street, or try and get into other people's houses; this part had long since become a concern to me but my father seemed to be blasé and unworried, but I've already ranted about that here, so: rar.)

The taking-walks-and-being-stable-on-her-feet part basically ended last week, around the same time when my dad was finally like, "Actually, she isn't safe at home," and we finally got to looking at assisted living.

I scheduled two places, one for my brother to look at and one for me to look at; my brother looked at a (good) place in Dedham, Charter, and I looked at it just after him, and then the next day, my mom had this thing during dinner with my dad where she tried to sit down on a chair and kind of missed most of it, almost sat, but then slid onto the floor. This may or may not be where she busted two lower left ribs; mind you, she has fallen before, and has been having back pain for awhile, so that is a Mystery, but: probably.

Anyway, so: on floor. Could not get up. My dad, who has early stage Parkinson's himself, could not help her up.

( Cut for length and irritation factor. )

So we still don't know if Charter will take her, but I bet they will. (10 cents, but it's still a bet.) Also, the In Theory Good Hospital, for locals, is Faulkner. (But they're all Beth Israel Deaconess anyway so it hardly matters.)

And now, I will do some work, for work.

julian

I have a lot to say about my mother's situation but I kind of feel I should post about good news, too, so: hey, I got a new-to-me car! (2022 Kia Niro.) It's getting amazingly good gas mileage (like, 56 MPG on average), which is good given the current situation.

It's bigger than I'm used to, though it is Not An SUV. Even so, it has more cargo space than the Prius, and it has both good rear vision and a lot more bells and whistles than I'm used to. F'rex, positively, it alerts if people are walking behind you; less positively, it dings if I go out of the lane line without signaling, but I'm trying to see it as, I should use my turn signals more anyway.

It also overheated last weekend while it was being humid out, but I fiddled with the caps to the radiator and that *appears* to have been the trouble, which is weird but there you go, and it has given me no angst since, and, I like it.

It's blue! (But a different blue than my Fit.)

Blue:

rmc28

Beer festival this evening, I had three cheeses on the platter:

Cornish Yarg
Pecorino
Mayfield (a swiss cheese, excellently tasty, a+ would eat again)

I also had four different 0.5% beers, all them also vegan[1], of which the standout was Mash Gang's Lesser Evil, a chocolate cherry stout with a lovely complex set of flavours to it. (I have already ordered some cans for home consumption ...)

Honourable mention goes to Heaps Normal's Half Day Hazy, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

Infinite Session's Infinite IPA and Hepworth's Aztec were fine but I didn't love them.

Others I particularly want to try this week from the no-alcohol list

Moon Rabbit by Tartarus, a vanilla stout (vg)
Milk Stout by Nirvana
IPA also by Nirvana
Hazy Galaxy by Vinohradský
Goram IPA Zero by Butcombe
Faith IPA by Northern Monk
Bold IPA by Queer Brewing
Juicy AF: Mango Pale by Only With Love, what it says on the tin (vg)
Tropical AF by Kasteel
Nillis by La Trappe

[1] I am not vegan but I sometimes drink with people who are, and the intersection of vegan and no-alcohol beers is not large

redbird

When my doctor told me to get a mammogram, she warned me they were scheduling months in advance. Instead, when I logged on to MyChart yesterday, it offered a lot of appointments in the next few days, including several this afternoon at a nearby location.

I had nothing else planned for this afternoon, so I made an appointment for this afternoon, a convenient trolley ride from home. Unfortunately, it didn't warn me that I would have to climb a couple of flights of stairs, because the building elevator has been out of service since May 4. The mammogram itself was uncomfortable, but not as bad as I had expected. I think the main difference is that it was quicker than last time, which may be because they were using better machinery than the last few times.

sonia

Neli Andreeva is one of Bulgaria's top singers, awesomely skilled and kind. I've posted about her over the years, in 2013 and 2020 and 2023.

In choir this session, we're learning Bel Veter Due from Bulgaria, and I found this wonderful video of Andreeva with her two daughters, Kalina (14?) and Yoana (9?).

Watch on YouTube

The kids are all grown up now, and making their own music videos. Len Peri, a new song based on an old story from Shopluk folklore.

Watch on YouTube

diffrentcolours

The last Bank Holiday Monday was fun. cosmolinguist's Canadian friend Bill was in the UK, and we haven't seen him for over a decade. Incompatibilities with Bill's idiosyncratic approach to communication technologies meant that I had to be the go-between and secretary, and for a while we weren't sure whether he had received any messages from us. But he got back to us on Monday morning and we made plans, meeting him in the city centre at lunchtime.

I did my tour guide bit, showing him the still-bescaffolded Town Hall, Lincoln Square, the John Rylands Library on Deansgate. Apparently he'd been to the latter before, but didn't know it was one of the first places in Manchester to have air filters installed during the Industrial Revolution, to stop soot and sulphur in the air from contaminating the library books. We doubled back along Peter Street and the former Free Trade Hall, and ended up at Society, down by the Bridgewater Hall, where Bill and I enjoyed pizza and E had veggie quesadillas. After that we took in the lovely tiled Peveril of the Peak, the punky former-toilet Temple of Convenience where we chatted international politics with a lefty Polish bartender, and headed up to the Village to the Molly House.

Talking to Bill is a bit like white water rafting - he says what's on his mind at any given time, and he's massively knowledgeable and fearsomely intelligent, so the conversation flows fast from topic to topic and really all you can do is cling on for dear life and hope to occasionally nudge things.

It was great fun. So much so that we managed to do it again the following Friday - this time we hit the Northern Quarter, starting in Bar Fringe talking about creativity and art. Later in Terrace we got talking to some students who bummed cigarettes off Bill, which ended up in some bizarrely deep and meaningful conversations. Eventually E and I staggered off for the last train and Bill walked with us, then went to check out the Piccadilly Tap.

He'll be back next year. I'm looking forward to it already.

cosmolinguist

On the drive home from gym this morning (D was able to come along! it was so lovely to have him there with me for the first time since February), D was as usual pointing out the Good Dogs. We saw so many dogs enjoying a Saturday morning walk in the at-least-partly-sunny weather.

When my attention was directed to one particular dog, I couldn't help but notice that we were also going past a Greggs. I thought D would like to know that I was now thinking about pastry, so I said so.

We kept going, and my tired happy brain didn't think anything of it when he didn't turn the way he usually does to get home. We were chatting away, and he still hadn't turned, and then it occurred to me.

"Are you going this way so we can go to Greggs before we go home?" The one nearest our house was one of the few reasons that he'd still be driving this way.

So I got two vegan sausage rolls for brunch (I always eat breakfast before gym or I'll be too hungry to function). They were perfect: still hot (because Greggs is so busy on a Saturday morning, everything is fresh) and flaky and delicious.

As we left the shop, I said "Thanks for doing this. It really was just an offhand comment."

"Yeah," D said, "but a lot of the best stuff happens from following offhand comments."

It's true. I'm so glad we get to share so many silly little adventures.

diffrentcolours

First time back at trans gym weight class since my hernia surgery two months ago. It was a quiet class, which means I got a lot of attention from the trainer, but they were happy that I knew what I was doing and didn't push myself. I mostly went bar weight for lifts, and when a snatch-and-jerk exercise made my tummy grumble I just stopped doing it and rested.

Also it was really nice to catch up with people, have some silly natters to the young people about cosmolinguist's and my opinions about Olivia Rodrigo, and do my best to support them through some of the tough times they're going through both at the gym and outside.

cosmolinguist

I have done so many things!

a bunch of boring work that had been piling up the last couple days: I caught up with a bunch of e-mails, I got back to S about the FOI, had a meeting with my manager and also about that big Q4 project that doesn't have a name yet...I even had time to write two chatty e-mails to our CEO
I requested a GP appointment for V on our doctor's website
and in the process was reminded that I can book a cervical smear that way, which I keep getting reminders about, so I requested that for myself
I sent, hopefully, all the right versions of the documents to indicate my consent for top surgery; next thing I hear from them might be a scheduled date for it (the surgeon told me the waiting list is 2-3 months and I'm really hoping for August because it's such a quiet time at work)
I got back to the guy who is going to measure our house for the kinds of patio doors we want next week
I sent an e-mail to his office asking for an invoice so we can pay for them and the pink front door

Now I'm hoping to walk Teddy and then to go to yoga tonight!

bens_dad

https://act.38degrees.org.uk/act/no-subscription-model-for-bbc
---------------------------------

To: Culture Secretary, Lisa Nandy
Petition text

Reject GB News’ proposal to gut the BBC and turn it into a Netflix-style subscription service.
---------------------------------

Why is this important?

GB News just submitted a radical proposal calling for the BBC to be completely gutted – cut back, scrapped, or hidden behind a Netflix-style subscription service. Shows like Strictly Come Dancing and The Traitors, cancelled.

The plan is also being described as a “blueprint for Reform”, showing the threat to our BBC if the Reform Party wins the next election. With ministers currently making huge decisions about the BBC’s future, we can’t let these ideas take hold.

But if hundreds of thousands of us sign this petition today, we can prevent ministers bowing to GB News' demands AND show the Reform Party how unpopular these ideas are!

---------------------------------
https://act.38degrees.org.uk/act/no-subscription-model-for-bbc
---------------------------------

cosmolinguist

Yesterday I went to London for work yesterday so had been up for 13 hours by the time I got home just in time to make dinner.

I was again this morning to travel luckily a much shorter distance for work. But still: in person, in new places, it's exhausting.

On the bus back home at lunchtime, I'd be more excited about getting there if I didn't have a couple more meetings this afternoon and a lot of tasks to pick up now that have been neglected over the last couple days while I've been busy with all this stuff.

By the time I finished work, my slight headache had turned into so much sensitivity to light and then sound that I took my migraine-y self to bed as soon as I'd managed to eat the dinner D made.

I suppose it's a very understandable time to have a migraine, but it's also very disappointing that, now that I could relax a bit, I can't even concentrate on anything, can't go to the gym like I'd been looking forward to, etc.

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Heard Community

Member Posts

Mask bloc gig

Poll: Rate My Glasses

Fuel joy

25 years

Feeling my goddam feelings, ugh

WisCon 48 schedule

Close (derogatory)

Memorial solar panels

three things make a post

Mom Progress! Slowly.

hey! a car!

Beers and cheeses

mammogram

Neli Andreeva's daughters, now all grown up

Conversational White-Water Rafting

Greggsventure

First Time Back

Today I am the executive of function!

No subscription model for the BBC

Migraine

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